Wii Sports Baseball has Ruined my Life

I waited in line for the Wii. I was lucky number twenty at the Toys R Us on that beautiful Sunday morning. Four weeks later I find my life consumed by Wii Sports Baseball.

It was a quick rise to the "Pro" level, but I doubt that I have won three games in the last week and a half. Even at 1285 points, I often end up pausing the game in the bottom of the first inning, and reluctantly restart the whole thing. This usually followed from a lopsided score induced by sometimes as few as one pitch/strike per at bat. It seems that I will never win again.

My current nemesis is Sakura--a black woman with a Japanese name who throws sidearm up to 104 mph. I don't know who programed this evil spirit, but I have not been able to defeat her in close to thirty attempts. The closest I came was going into the bottom of the third inning, up nine to seven and having her team score three runs in a row after getting down to their last out of the game. What do you know? Walk off double. Final score: 9-10.

Sakura pitches; 104 mph fastballs, 96 mph screwballs, 98 mph curves, and 92 mph sliders. Of course she is also capable of throwing every pitch as low as 59 mph immediately afterwards, as well. Her team also hits. Any pitch close to the strike zone gets hammered to the gap for a double. I remember them hitting about five of those in a row during one game.

Best of all, it seems as though my team just finished a Special Olympic double-header right before taking the field. I've seen balls hit right to almost every position player get completely misplayed. Sakura's team looks like nine Derek Jeters, though.

AGHHHHHHHHHH! I hate this fucking game....